My Life





Pluviophile

4:27 am


It's raining really hard.
I opened up the window to greet the rain and fallen leaves came blowing in.

I don't know why that makes me happy.
I don't know why rain makes me happy.

But it does.

I found a word to describe me - a pluviophile.

Pluviophile. (n) a lover of rain; someone who finds joy and peace of mind during rainy days.

Apparently, there are a lot of people like me out there.

Well, isn't that nice? ��

Dread

A few more days and we're off to Manila. I am dreading leaving the kids behind. It feels like I'd be ripping my heart out of my chest. I am going to miss them so goddamn much. :(



Going Through Hell

I'm so pissed at everything right now. 


I'm so stressed out and with so many things stressing me out - I don't know what's causing the crying bouts. God, my eyes are so freaking clean from all the crying I've been doing.

I feel -
Angry.
Seriously pissed.
Irritated.
Resigned.
Worried.
Scared.
Angry.
Mostly angry.
Afraid.
Tired.
Exhausted.
Worn out.
Confused.
Afraid.
Consumed.
Sad.
Depressed.

I'm not okay. I hate going through this hell.

I Just Want to Rant

Jesus H. Christ! My stress levels have reached their all time high. I just want to scream and scream and never stop screaming.


This is hell. This is pure unadulterated fucking hell. I can't wait for all this to be over but then the waiting starts... I don't what's worse - this or that.

At least I'll have work and money while waiting. The absence of income and this feeling of financial impotence are stressing me out much more than the nonstop studying. I feel like I'm about to explode. Just bloody explode. God. 

I am just so fucking tired of this.

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